父母在,不能游
我回国旅游的计划,原本已经是树上红艳艳的果实,只等我伸手采摘。已经与各处的朋友都打好招呼:“一起忽悠去啊!”还在网上彻夜不眠地查找既便宜又方便的宾馆,一切。都如此接近,仿佛已经闻到西湖的鱼香和黄山的晨雾。
晚上,给婆婆一个电话。所有的热情由颠峰降到谷底。一颗期待的心陡然变得焦虑。回国于我,不再是件轻松愉快享受的事,却是探病。
婆婆轻描淡写地说:“你爸爸最近身体不太好,查出心跳过缓,一分钟才40几下。医生让他住院观察。怀疑是冠心病。”语气里没有焦虑,没有不安,但我知道,婆婆只是不想让我担心。
我这里催促:“爸爸去住院了没有?”婆婆说:“你爸暂时不肯,说没什么感觉啊!还有两个星期的课就结束了,等放了暑假再去。”我当机立断地说:“不行!现在就去。人重要还是学生重要?每个人都为工作鞠躬尽瘁,怎么都不明白身体是工作之本?没了身体,还谈什么教学?熬完这两个礼拜,还有以后呢?”
婆婆说:“是的,你爸爸自己也有些担心。他们系的王老师,年纪轻轻的,才50多岁,在球场打着打着球,觉得心脏不舒服,喘不上气,还没到医院就没了。很快。你爸最近也担心自己,老提醒我万一听不见他打呼噜,就摸摸他的鼻息。”
我一听,眼泪都要掉下来了。感觉自己还年轻,父母还年轻,死亡,这样一个严肃的话题,仿佛在这家转,那家转,却永远不会降临到自己的身上。最近一向,总听到不妙的消息,一个关系很近的朋友的父亲得了肺癌,而另一位的母亲刚刚过世。
我印象里,父母应该是万寿无疆的,到我都白发了,父母还应该是耳不聋眼不花,硬朗着跟孙子游戏。忽然听到公公身体有恙,还要住院,心里有些打鼓。
婆婆说:“你爸爸自己不怕呀,还跟我开玩笑,说一想到自己撒手西去,老婆跟人卷铺盖跑了,就难受。我还回答他说,我凭什么卷铺盖呀,你都撒手走了,还不许我招个回来?我这里有房子有票子,我才不走呢!”人大约到了一定的岁数,就可以很轻松地将一些严肃话题拿来开心,也许,对于他们,已经认命。孩子都长大了,老人都送终了,一生的卖力演出可以在以后的任何一幕上谢幕,微笑着,挥手而去。
我心里跟刀扎一样疼痛,呵斥婆婆说:“乱讲,我看你们两个太闲了!拿这种事情开玩笑!以后不许讲这样的话。提都不要提!你们还保证说替我养儿子到上大学呢!现在什么力都不出就想逃避?”
又斩钉截铁地跟婆婆说:“这次回国,我爸不要陪我们去黄山了,我们哪里都不去,看完上海爸爸妈妈,就回合肥看你们。你先叫爸爸住上院。”公公思子女心切,当初听说我们回国以后要环游小半个华东的时候,就提出要与我们同行。先生不愿意小夫妻出门拖俩老油瓶,几次私下跟我反对,都被我打回去,不许他跟父母提。公公去黄山不下20次了,这次还要坚持陪我们去爬,还要凑出几天的假期,不容易。他的心意我懂,每年难得见孩子一面,多看一天是一天。
婆婆马上反对:“哎呀胡扯!你们都计划出去玩那么长时间了,哪能叫我们给破坏了。你们按计划去。你爸爸不要紧的,到时候回来住两天就行。”
我跟婆婆说:“我说了算,不要争了。对我而言,到哪里都一样,玩与不玩没区别,去旅游也不好,又花钱又伤体力,回家住着还舒服,有人管吃管喝,比外头强多了。就这样吧!”挂断电话。久久坐在椅子上不说一句话。
先生走过来问:“发什么呆?”
我说:“爸爸心脏不好,要住院。我看,我们这次不要去玩了,就上海合肥呆呆算了。”先生说,有那么严重?“不管严不严重,不可掉以轻心。父母年纪大了,在我们还没来得及察觉的时候。”
先生一脸内疚。他欠我一个旅游很久,一头是白发苍苍的父母,一头是已经从少女变成少妇的老婆。
“没关系,黄山西湖,应该是立此永存的。大约等我们成老头老太的时候都还会在那里。总有一天会去的。”
“三峡都没了。。。。。。”老公的话,我懂。他告诉我三峡很美,当年他的一叶轻舟从峰谷间穿过的时候,就想带我某日一起同去。而那时,我正忙着与理不清的业务奋斗,总在沿海的城市穿梭。
我在三十岁上,开始面对许多棘手的人生课题,而这些我还没有准备好。比如,我该做妈妈了,比如,老人们的身体在衰退,比如,我要扛起家庭的责任,对社会尽责,对父母尽孝。
到了这个年纪,我要勇敢地肩负。
晚上,给婆婆一个电话。所有的热情由颠峰降到谷底。一颗期待的心陡然变得焦虑。回国于我,不再是件轻松愉快享受的事,却是探病。
婆婆轻描淡写地说:“你爸爸最近身体不太好,查出心跳过缓,一分钟才40几下。医生让他住院观察。怀疑是冠心病。”语气里没有焦虑,没有不安,但我知道,婆婆只是不想让我担心。
我这里催促:“爸爸去住院了没有?”婆婆说:“你爸暂时不肯,说没什么感觉啊!还有两个星期的课就结束了,等放了暑假再去。”我当机立断地说:“不行!现在就去。人重要还是学生重要?每个人都为工作鞠躬尽瘁,怎么都不明白身体是工作之本?没了身体,还谈什么教学?熬完这两个礼拜,还有以后呢?”
婆婆说:“是的,你爸爸自己也有些担心。他们系的王老师,年纪轻轻的,才50多岁,在球场打着打着球,觉得心脏不舒服,喘不上气,还没到医院就没了。很快。你爸最近也担心自己,老提醒我万一听不见他打呼噜,就摸摸他的鼻息。”
我一听,眼泪都要掉下来了。感觉自己还年轻,父母还年轻,死亡,这样一个严肃的话题,仿佛在这家转,那家转,却永远不会降临到自己的身上。最近一向,总听到不妙的消息,一个关系很近的朋友的父亲得了肺癌,而另一位的母亲刚刚过世。
我印象里,父母应该是万寿无疆的,到我都白发了,父母还应该是耳不聋眼不花,硬朗着跟孙子游戏。忽然听到公公身体有恙,还要住院,心里有些打鼓。
婆婆说:“你爸爸自己不怕呀,还跟我开玩笑,说一想到自己撒手西去,老婆跟人卷铺盖跑了,就难受。我还回答他说,我凭什么卷铺盖呀,你都撒手走了,还不许我招个回来?我这里有房子有票子,我才不走呢!”人大约到了一定的岁数,就可以很轻松地将一些严肃话题拿来开心,也许,对于他们,已经认命。孩子都长大了,老人都送终了,一生的卖力演出可以在以后的任何一幕上谢幕,微笑着,挥手而去。
我心里跟刀扎一样疼痛,呵斥婆婆说:“乱讲,我看你们两个太闲了!拿这种事情开玩笑!以后不许讲这样的话。提都不要提!你们还保证说替我养儿子到上大学呢!现在什么力都不出就想逃避?”
又斩钉截铁地跟婆婆说:“这次回国,我爸不要陪我们去黄山了,我们哪里都不去,看完上海爸爸妈妈,就回合肥看你们。你先叫爸爸住上院。”公公思子女心切,当初听说我们回国以后要环游小半个华东的时候,就提出要与我们同行。先生不愿意小夫妻出门拖俩老油瓶,几次私下跟我反对,都被我打回去,不许他跟父母提。公公去黄山不下20次了,这次还要坚持陪我们去爬,还要凑出几天的假期,不容易。他的心意我懂,每年难得见孩子一面,多看一天是一天。
婆婆马上反对:“哎呀胡扯!你们都计划出去玩那么长时间了,哪能叫我们给破坏了。你们按计划去。你爸爸不要紧的,到时候回来住两天就行。”
我跟婆婆说:“我说了算,不要争了。对我而言,到哪里都一样,玩与不玩没区别,去旅游也不好,又花钱又伤体力,回家住着还舒服,有人管吃管喝,比外头强多了。就这样吧!”挂断电话。久久坐在椅子上不说一句话。
先生走过来问:“发什么呆?”
我说:“爸爸心脏不好,要住院。我看,我们这次不要去玩了,就上海合肥呆呆算了。”先生说,有那么严重?“不管严不严重,不可掉以轻心。父母年纪大了,在我们还没来得及察觉的时候。”
先生一脸内疚。他欠我一个旅游很久,一头是白发苍苍的父母,一头是已经从少女变成少妇的老婆。
“没关系,黄山西湖,应该是立此永存的。大约等我们成老头老太的时候都还会在那里。总有一天会去的。”
“三峡都没了。。。。。。”老公的话,我懂。他告诉我三峡很美,当年他的一叶轻舟从峰谷间穿过的时候,就想带我某日一起同去。而那时,我正忙着与理不清的业务奋斗,总在沿海的城市穿梭。
我在三十岁上,开始面对许多棘手的人生课题,而这些我还没有准备好。比如,我该做妈妈了,比如,老人们的身体在衰退,比如,我要扛起家庭的责任,对社会尽责,对父母尽孝。
到了这个年纪,我要勇敢地肩负。
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