第六章:钢铁是这样炼成的
以后王贵就聪明多了,如果安娜问他意见,他首先得搞清楚安娜的心思,而不贸然提出自己想法。要学会揣测领导意图,这个很重要,关键不在你心里想什么,而在领导心里想什么。说出你的想法不是本事,能一言说出领导的想法才是本事。“我觉得吧,你眼光很独到,哪个都好,这个很配你的气质,那个把你衬托得很白。”王贵后来一本正经的评论常叫我从偷笑到放声大笑,觉得马屁能拍到这水平,不是普通丈夫可以达到的,非一日之功也。马屁都会讲,但能发自内心,面不改色心不跳,说得跟真话一样自然,并且还由衷高兴,舍王贵其谁?更可笑的是,千穿万穿,马屁不穿。我们觉得很夸张,安娜觉得很受用,她常肯定王贵的想法:“恩!我觉得你说得对!王贵,你这几年审美眼光进步不少。自从你跟了我之后,已经逐渐摆脱了很多农村习气,越来越象城里人了。”王贵以后就可以顺利过关。后来王贵当上一个大系的副主任,上下关系都拢的很好,别人都夸他有办法,能屈能伸。他很得意:“这有何难?我干这活好几十年了,安娜我都哄的好,我还怕哄谁?”梯队这个词很有创意,领导要从基层培养锻炼,从苗子抓起。“要不是我,你哪有今天?你别以为你当主任有什么了不起,在家里就翘着二郎腿等吃等喝,告诉你,在我眼里你还是那个乡巴佬王贵。”安娜后来老这样给王贵家训,教育他不要因官忘本。“是,是,夫人所言极是。”王贵俯首帖耳。
涡轮司机给安娜揉一个橘子,安娜整整记了十多年,王贵每天接送安娜上下班半辈子,安娜视而不见。“你就不如人家体贴。你看人家,都把橘子揉暖了才给我吃。”安娜总拿这件事情挤兑王贵,并乐此不疲。我后来忍不住打击安娜:“我爸接送你上下班,你都成习惯了,一点不感动,一个破橘子叫你唏嘘十来年。”安娜居然理直气壮告诉我:“他接我不是应该?换旁人接他还不乐意呢!他该感谢我给他这样一个表现的机会。”什么是浪漫?浪漫就是少见,就是稀罕。如果涡轮司机每天给安娜揉一个橘子,哪天不揉了,安娜才会觉得不习惯。我有时候真的很担心王贵比安娜先去,然后安娜就会跟写回忆录一样每天念叨王贵的好。“就你爸对我好,孩子都是虚的!饭菜上桌了,连我的筷子都不拿!”现在安娜老了,已经这样掉头了。唉!世事无绝对,眼光自不同。“好”这个词,也是要靠比较才得来的。没有我们的不孝如何衬托出王贵的贴心?
“别皱眉头,会长皱纹的。”安娜一脸苦相按着胃的时候,涡轮司机突然伸出手,用拇指在安娜的眉心轻轻按了按,有抚平安娜痛苦的渴望。安娜楞在那里,抬眼看着涡轮司机,对方没有一点的蓄谋的亲热或猥亵的意思在里面,非常坦然,就好象每天都做的举动一样。“你是不是觉得我老了?成了满脸皱纹的老太太?”安娜突然就竖起了她满身的小刺。“胡说,女人的皱纹是笑纹,笑得越多,纹路越深,你还不够深,因为你笑少了。每天开开心心的,早点变成老太太。”涡轮司机顺手在安娜的头上掳了掳,将安娜的头发都拨弄乱了,安娜将他的手挡开,非常恼怒地说:“一回来就咒我老,对你有什么好处? 心地最不善良的就是你。我告诉你,我现在有危机感,你以后不许在我面前提那个‘老’字,我忌讳,什么皱啊,松啊,垂啊,走样啊,都不许讲!”涡轮司机大笑起来,问:“引申下来,什么无光啊,姜太公啊,缩水啊,黄花菜啊,珍珠啊,风韵啊,不新鲜啊不是都成了禁忌?你要不要颁布一本禁忌词典?好叫我们草民搞清楚什么时候犯了你的嗔戒?哦!我觉得这种提法不科学,还是颁布一本可供使用词典比较方便,估计薄一点,便于迅速掌握。”“哎呀!”安娜哭笑不得,抡起拳头砸在涡轮司机的胳膊上。
十八岁的夏季又回来了。
“安娜,放轻松。每个人都要变老的,只要一起变老,优雅地老着,就很好。我可不愿意在我八十岁上看见一大姑娘冲我走过来喊‘你猜我是谁?我是安娜!’太诡异了,我受不了。我宁可那时候你是个满脸皱纹,口里没牙,一说话就漏风,一咬东西就瘪嘴的小老太太,,满好看的,反正到时候我也眼花了,看你八十岁跟看你十八岁没什么区别。人为什么要老花眼?就是要让世界越来越模糊,越来越印象派,越来越美。人这一辈子就是在清楚与模糊中度过的,年青的时候心模糊眼清楚,年老的时候眼模糊心清楚,算是减少痛苦吧!”涡轮司机边慢慢收拾着床边的零碎,边声音儒糯地跟安娜絮着话,让安娜绷在心头的弦一点一点舒缓,病痛也没那么强烈了。
“你吃药了没有?”王贵晚上回来的时候问安娜,顺便抄起涡轮司机买的香蕉剥了就吃。“吃东西一点都不晓得让人,只顾自己!”安娜皱着眉头嗔怪王贵。“你要吃你就说啊!每次给你你又说不吃。”王贵已经习惯安娜了,反正她得有话题。“什么东西都要人家讲的啊?只能说明你自私,心里没别人。我不要是我的事,但你不给是你没心。”王贵赶紧把咬了一半的香蕉递给安娜,“来,咬一口。”“你吃过的给人家吃?也不怕人家嫌你脏。要先让我吃你才吃,怎么老教不会?不吃!”安娜今天反正怎么样都伺候不好。王贵不晓得涡轮司机来过,问一句:“今天几号?你是不是日子到了?火气这样大?”安娜也觉得自己过分,笑了,说,去去去,一个月几回啊?刚来过,没脑子!”
“女人你得让,她们跟我们不一样,她们有生理期间。”王贵后来这样向他女婿传授经验。我爱人就同一问题咨询过老前辈,“她怎么动不动就发火啊?妈妈是不是也这样?遗传?”“做女人很不容易的,人家流血流汗,我们不就出点忍耐吗?”王贵生怕我爱人失去耐心而让他的宝贝女儿受了委屈。
晚上该睡的时候,安娜躺了一天,如夜猫般精神,开着个小台灯在梳妆台前照来照去,仔细端详,既象自言自语,又象冲着躺在床上看书的王贵问:“我这几年是不是老好多?”“恩?”王贵心不在焉,一边翻书一边应付。“我是不是眼角皱纹太多了?一笑起来跟风干的苹果似的。”“啊?”王贵神还是没回来。“现在听说有拉皮技术,把人的脸皮绷紧,看着跟十七八一样年青,你看电视里刘晓庆,跟我一般大的,她怎么看着跟小丫头似的?该不是拉过皮了吧?”“是吗?”王贵用圆珠笔在书上画了画。“我和刘晓庆谁看着年青?”安娜停下手里往脸上涂涂抹抹的工作,回过脸来问王贵,一脸期待。“对。”王贵习惯性应答。
根据王贵多年的观察与总结,女人说话的时候,大部分是自说自话,你太专注去听,会被搞得神经错乱,最后出现与她们一样的杞人忧天。以前安娜没事就抱着本家庭医生看,边看边对着镜子按按乳房然后说“小叶增生”,按按肚子说“肝肿大”,按按屁股说“坐骨神经坏死”,而且还描述得活灵活现,基本上那期《家庭医生》介绍什么疾病,安娜就会出现相应的症状,诸如四肢无力,手脚麻痹,腰酸背痛,腹胀胃寒等小现象基本上没断过,咳嗽半个月不好,便自我诊断说:“完了,一定是肺结核早期现象!”口气的权威与不容置疑,常把王贵吓得寝食难安。医院陪着跑了无数趟,最后都拿点感冒清或是鼻炎灵之类的药回来。经过几年的瞎折腾,在安娜五脏六腑能被怀疑的大毛病都被怀疑一遍以后,王贵至少懂得了几个道理:1。癌症这东西,不是那么容易得上的。2。女人知识越多越反动。3。有知与无知都可以,就怕一知半解。4。男人若听女人的话,时间会浪费一半。若作出反映,时间会全部浪费。
自从明白了这个道理以后,王贵在安娜漫长的自言自语生涯中,连耳朵都不出了,只出点象声词就够了。
不过也不能太松懈,象声词要恰到好处,在需要有相应反应而期望落空的时候,会遭到以下报复:安娜一脸坏笑趿着拖鞋踢踢踏踏走到床边,倚身上床,揪着王贵的耳朵说:“对什么对?啊?对什么对?我刚才说什么了?”王贵迅速从书中回过神来,处变不惊大言不惭地说:“老婆说的,一句顶一百句,什么都对!错了都要不折不扣地执行!”安娜拍拍王贵的脸,“我什么时候错过?你举例说明看看?”王贵嘻嘻哈哈抱着脸回应:“根本没发生过!要不怎么有红宝书一说呢?安娜的话就是我家的红宝书!”安娜咯咯笑着再拍一下王贵的额头:“不要脸,就会应付我。”化险为夷。
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