第三章:这班老三届
安娜和其他同样命运的女人一样,过了四十,也觉得没什么奔头了,离婚也没什么指望,就开始安心混剩余的日子。
不成想,安娜的第二春,就在她已经安贫乐命的时候,不期然地来到了。
“安娜,你知道吗?涡轮司机回来了!”安娜听到同学蒜头的电话的时候,心砰地跳了一下。
这一段时间,安娜因为得了胃炎,在家休养。现在还算好点,以前更严重,前一向都住进了医院。同学打电话到她办公室,找不到人,特地追家里。“他什么时候来的啊?他现在在哪混呀!好多年没他消息了。”“你别问我啊,你问他!这是他现在的电话,他好象住他父亲那里,安医大。你打他家电话。”“哦!你怎么不把我电话告诉他?”安娜问蒜头。“我没敢啊,想先问问你。”蒜头知道以前安娜和涡轮司机的关系,怕不请示就告诉涡轮司机引起安娜的不方便。“什么话!都多少年的事情了,我都老太婆了,老同学打个电话怕什么?”
安娜放下电话就给拨响了涡轮司机的号码。接电话的估计是涡轮司机的继母,一个还比较年轻的声音。“他在科大作报告呢!要不,你留个电话?”安娜不晓得怎么称呼对方,就含糊招呼了一下留了自己的电话。
晚上安娜在看电视,电话铃响了。“安娜,是我。你好吗?”电话那头的男人一张口,安娜就知道他是谁了。突然,安娜就楞在那里,不晓得说什么。两个人都沉默了半晌。“安娜,我刚到,就托蒜头找你。我找她方便,她跟我在一个大院。听说我们俩住得不远啊!”涡轮司机是柔和而有安神作用的男中音,带着一股南方的糯糯的口音,说话和当年一样咬舌头。“是的,很近,你步行过来也不过十多分钟。”安娜的声音有一点点抖。“好久不见了,什么时候见见?”“好啊好啊!好多年不见了,干脆搞个同学聚会吧!难得聚一聚。我一直跟大家保持着联系,我去找,找到了通知你!”安娜开始兴奋起来,声音也很活跃。“好啊!我也想看看大家都成了什么样。什么时候给我消息?”“很快的,城市又不大,没电话的上门找都不要两天。”“恩,等你消息。”又没话了。
“好。”安娜准备放下电话,又觉得有什么没说完。
“安娜,听见你声音真高兴!你的声音一点没变,和当年一样年轻。”
“哪里啊,都老太婆了,女儿都比我高了呢!怎么会?”安娜突然注意到自己的声音,特地放得娇柔与纤细些。
同学聚会的地点在一中旁边的一个叫“广阔天地,大有作为”的酒店。酒店的外装饰很简陋,用蓝漆刷了四周的墙充当蓝天,还画了几片白云。里面的装饰很有意思,凳子是那种四脚长板凳,地上是镰刀,墙上是红宝书,大厅前头还刷着“知识青年,上山下乡”的字样,叫同学们很是唏嘘感慨,心头如打翻了的五味醋。
上菜的顺序也很奇怪,先来一道“忆苦思甜饭”,又上了几样野菜,甚是爽口。
同学大多久不见面,碰到一起就互相打趣,熟悉的还相互拥抱,边抱边自我嘲笑:“脸没贴上,肚皮先亲嘴了。”“你这头发,怎么比你肚子里的墨水掉得还快?整个一‘中间一块足球场,四边都是铁丝网’了嘛!”“我头发掉得快,你褶子长得多,都跟包子的肚脐眼儿一样了,你还笑我?”没过十几分钟,以前的绰号都被想起,名字都丢了,开始边喝酒边抖以前的糗事博得满堂哄笑。
安娜心中是兴奋的,仿佛骤然回到了少女时期,看看周围的女同学们都是孩子的妈妈了,却在老同学的拍拍打打中显得举止随意,少了很多拘束。岁月的痕迹只在这青春的回放中有了些许抚平。
安娜并没有见到涡轮司机,聚会开始二十多分钟了,涡轮司机才匆匆赶来,进门就作揖,说是不认识路,变化太大,先自罚三杯。
安娜看着眼前这个高大欣长的男人,禁不住感慨大家都老了,以前那整齐的小平头,现在居然吹得很奔儿,唯一不变的是那一股与众不同的书卷气,一件本白的细绒羊毛衫外面套了一件暗绿的休闲西装,松散地扣了一颗扣子,透着清爽与儒雅,明显与其他男同学前襟都有了油点,后领有了头屑的松松垮垮的西服不同。讲究,安娜的心中冒出这样的字眼。涡轮司机以前就很讲究,即便是洗得发白的衬衫,都压在屁股底下坐平了才穿。他的课本也是干净整洁,一个角都不折,笔记记得工整而仔细。
涡轮司机与老同学一一握手,最后走到安娜面前,拉着安娜的手,重重抖一抖,很有激情地喊了声:“安娜。”安娜抬起她如奥菲利亚般的大眼睛看了他一眼,说:“你好。”大方一笑。
“让班长跟学习委员拥抱一下,大家鼓掌!”同学三窝起哄。在座的各位,没谁不知道安娜与涡轮司机的感情,就差没喊“让老情人拥抱一下”,已经很给面子了。
安娜很窘迫,迁怒地剜了三窝一眼。涡轮司机却非常大方,张开双手给了安娜一个很结实的熊抱。“噢~~~~~~~!”四周一片欢呼,还有人抢下了快门。
席间大家互相交流着现在的生活情况。这一届英才,当初个个是人尖儿,而今却大多不如意。很多返城后随便找了个地方窝着,不死也不活。当然有几个后来考上大学的,不过都混出省去了,这次都没来。于是,焦点便聚集在涡轮司机身上。
“我是高考恢复后第一届啊!上的北大物理系。”涡轮司机笑着说。“当初志向不是‘裤子大’吗?怎么跑那么远?”有同学问。按当地的土话读出来,科技大就成了裤子大了。“唉,当时就想逃得远远的,所以……不提了,不提了。”以后这个“不提了不提了”大约是这次同学聚会用的频率最高的词,基本上概括了二十年的不如意,是长长一段青春的缩写。于是,“不提了”就成了失意的代名词。
安娜陆陆续续知道了涡轮司机后来留校读研究生,没读一半又跑美国读博士,读完博士又找了个州立大学教书的整个过程,就算是历史遗留问题都交代清楚了。涡轮司机应该算恢复高考后最早出去的那一拨。
安娜心中既是羡慕又是酸楚。当年她与涡轮司机是不分伯仲的,每次考试都是你追我赶,第一第二的成绩,原本在同一起跑线上,现在竟被他甩下了一大截。而当年曾经一下课就把全国著名大学排成一张表,大家翘着腿指指点点选心目中的学校,大有指点江山,激昂文字的那一拨,真正实现理想的,却只有涡轮司机这一个。人生竟这样的奇妙,每个少年都有美丽的梦想,而能够奔着目标去的,惟有执着吧!成功的路上,堆满了浮尸。“哼,涡轮司机之流就是踏着我们的腐肉前行的。”安娜冒出这样恶毒的想法。
这二十年,我又得到了什么?安娜看着散了聚会的人流的背影,心中无限怅惘,仿佛觉得这二十年自己的人生书页缺了好大一个角,已经影响整本书的故事情节了。
“安娜,我送你回去。”涡轮司机站在安娜身边。
“不用了,爱人说好来接我的,我打个电话去,等下他就来了。”安娜非常礼貌地客套。她的自尊与自卑,让她主动与涡轮司机拉开了距离。
“不好。我要送送你,想跟你聊聊,当散散步,消化一下。”涡轮司机不由分说,拉了安娜的手就走进蒙蒙的雾气里。昏黄的路灯下,拉出两条长长的影子。
早春的三月,春寒料峭。没走一会,安娜就开始抽肩膀。今天她是特地打扮了来的,也吹了头发,还换上了王贵上次出差买的羊毛衫,大大的蝙蝠袖,很是别致。问题是这衣服不耐寒,凉风直往心口里钻。安娜的胃开始隐隐作痛。
“听蒜头说你最近在家休养,没上班?”
“恩,胃炎。不晓得怎么得的,吃饭也正常啊!”
“五脏六腑的病,大多是郁积攻心,与其说是体病,不如说是心病。重在调养,要放宽心,你呀,就是操心太多,你得这种病我一点都不奇怪,就跟我看见西施捧心一样。” 安娜觉得涡轮司机话里有话。“我最烦人作出一副参透一切的架势,动不动就切入表象看实质,都自以为了不起。什么心病啊?你干脆摆明了说我整天期期艾艾跟林黛玉一样没病装病不就完了吗?”安娜从以前就这样好斗,伶牙俐齿,一句话都输不起。“哈哈,多少年了,你一点没变嘛!”涡轮司机脱下西装给安娜披上,又在安娜肩膀上握了一握,“怎么还跟小刺猬一样?见了就跟我顶。唉,当初我就没教育好你。失败啊失败!”
安娜笑了,“去你的,你才是穿山甲呢!动不动就拿弗罗伊德叔本华给我扣帽子,每次先 给我下个诊断,然后还非得引经据典,你这样杞人忧天,迟早会成圣人的。”
“不啊,你的救世主。”
“救世主你来得太迟了,没你我也苟活了二十多年了。”
“活是活着,苟延残喘罢了。”
安娜非常喜欢这样的斗嘴与机锋,她喜欢智慧的男人,欣赏聪明的脑袋。她称之为思想的匹配。以前和涡轮司机一起,没事就斗脑袋,从智力题到象棋围棋,最后就发展成纯斗嘴。这种酣畅她很多年没有过了,因为王贵会根本不接下茬,主要是也搞不懂个所以然。
“安娜,我会联系你。”在涡轮司机把安娜送到她家楼下的时候。安娜并没客气到假意邀请涡轮司机上去坐坐,因为都夜里十一点了,估计孩子都睡觉了。三楼上,家里客厅的灯光透过窗口亮着,映出王贵伏身写字的背影,四周已经很安静了,间或三两声猫叫。
“明天我给你打电话。”
“恩。”安娜竟没有拒绝。
涡轮司机摇摇手走了,安娜并没有动。她知道他会回身,跟二十多年前送她回家一样,过十米后会飞来一个吻,当然,也许他已经忘了。
很准,十米左右,涡轮司机转身,扬手送来个飞吻。一切竟那样熟悉,安娜回到十八岁的光阴。她竟有些迷惑了。
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